No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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