So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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