do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
