tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
