from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Holy sore nipples Batman
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize