So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
