i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize