i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
