Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
