i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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