just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
