He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
