I accidentally had phone sex last night
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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