You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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