Can i not drive my cunt home
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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