my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
