I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
