my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He felt like a one man threesome
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
