Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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