My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize