She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
