is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
