Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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