so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
