i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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