I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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