Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
