KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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