I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize