And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize