Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
