consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
