i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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