Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize