He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
