I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
