She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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