No stitches, just platelets and will power
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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