dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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