we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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