Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
