that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
