is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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