The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
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I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
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I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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