i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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