so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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