He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
