u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
