so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
