im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
