Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
