She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question