Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.