A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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