I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.