I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
