My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
