apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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