just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
