it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
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I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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