i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
